Damn. Oh DAMN!!! I’m stupified with shock, horror, and rage. I expected so much better from you! What is wrong with you? Have you had a nervous breakdown? You let me down – again! I thought you loved me, but you don’t even see me! You, with your promises of a fabulous tilt-a-whirl carnival of choices, your Kodacolor visions, you, the shady car salesman of junkets, progress, and dreams – now we see your broken agreements of freedom – Free-Dumb! – your word is nothing, you abandoned our talks like a bad lover, once again – making women sorry that they have to be women in this country, ashamed of YOU.
We are ASHAMED of YOU! Who else will you go after, you self-absorbed cowboy thug? We’ve had enough of your entitled white male Christian supremacy, your cultist mobocracy – enough! And I thought we were moving in a good direction, welcoming a new, sane POTUS, more women standing in their power, but you’re still blocking the way, fetishing the fetus and the gun, holding fast to the old decayed views of the world, that men own everything, even our very bodies, and none of us, women, little ones, college kids, people of color, foreigners, the impaired and the impoverished, none of the rest of us are in the picture. We hear you singing the Red, White, and Brutal.
For a while, you seemed thoughtful, respectful. I thought we were done finally with back alley obscenities against women, and needing to ask permission to move forward, Simon Says, as though we were little children. Fifty years of fighting with you! When will your people relinquish your hold on how we live? Drunk, you are hurting us, and you don’t even notice, you sociopathic bastard – you believe what you believe, but we don’t, and your ideology is shackling us.
We want to live! We want the promises you made, the promises broken with forked tongue, made but broken to the First Nations, to the Japanese Americans, to the grandchildren of the slaves you captured from other lands. I’ve wanted to believe in you, you with your egalitarian moon in Aquarius, but I’m so disappointed in you, and we are hurting and angry.
You like to promote that we’re the best, we’re number one – but that sales pitch of yours is so old and beside the point! Where’s the phone number for a social worker who can take on your issues? Is it possible to heal your illness? Your fans, the ones who still believe in you, your followers are sleeping, they don’t see you shoplifting our food stamps, giving handouts to your autocratic associates, scaring folks with the dark projections of your own violence, waving Old Gory, twirling your six-shooters, scapegoating the most powerless, and bullying the rest into silence and submission. Lysistrata, where are you? We will not be your handmaids!
Meantime I’m keeping my distance, staying in the upturned blue thumb of New England, the thumbs-up blue America, the progressive hood where I feel comfortable and safe and at home in civil, sober society. and steering clear of the rest of you, Cancer-ruled tyrant who allows the bully part to consume the whole. You lie about freedom and prosperity when all of Europe has real health plans, paid leave, decent housing, contraception, and child care, and doesn’t worry their girls about growing up as they wish to be – free. When I feel stronger, I’ll grab my posse and come after you; we’ll make you stand aside, and let the real America be in charge for a change. Hope springs eternal. Because, America, even if you are so unattractive right now, I confess that I’m still in love with the Idea of you.
Dinah Kudatsky is a resident of Amherst