Opinion: At the Start of Pride Month, Consider What It Means to Be an Ally

This is the first of four pieces that the LGBTQIA+ Caucus of Amherst has prepared for Pride Month. The Indy will publish one piece each week during the month of June.

As Pride Month approaches, you may see an increase in rainbow and Pride-themed language and flagging. This could look like a pin on someone’s backpack, a sticker on the door of a classroom or doctor’s office, a bumper sticker, posters, Pride flags hung in front of buildings, references to Pride in the media, rainbow crosswalks, or LGBTQIA+-positive chalking around town. These are all ways a person, business, organization, school, etc. can demonstrate their support for  LGBTQIA+ people. 

Most members of the  LGBTQIA+ community know to look for these symbols, to flag safe spaces and safe people. Historically, this has been a very important way for queer and trans people to find one another and find places where they can safely be themselves. It used to be rare to stumble across a rainbow sticker on the doorway of a counselor’s office or spot someone on the bus in a pride t-shirt. Those small acts of solidarity can feel like lifelines to people who are isolated by their identities as queer or trans people. 

The progress we’ve been making to increase visibility and awareness around Pride has resulted in the symbols making their way into mainstream spaces. Where we used to have to find independent queer-friendly businesses to buy Pride gear, big box stores now have Pride displays. Where once there might have been one rumored doctor in a practice who was queer-friendly or queer adjacent, there’s now sometimes a giant rainbow flag hanging at the front entrance to the whole office.  

Today’s abundance of pride symbols offers visibility and a sense of inclusion, but also carries a risk. We need to make sure that as these symbols become normalized and popularized, they also maintain their meaning and purpose. True ally-ship can have an enormous impact on the well-being of impacted people, but false ally-ship causes real harm. At a time like this, when LGBTQIA+ people are so targeted by the government and experiencing so many challenges it is crucial that we know who our real allies are. It is, for many of us, a matter of survival. 

As we approach Pride Month the LGBTQIA+ Caucus of Amherst asks the community to be thoughtful and intentional about their use of these symbols. In doing so, please keep the following in mind. 

• If you use a Pride symbol to identify yourself as an ally, the queer and trans people around you will notice that and it will matter to them. It will likely raise their hopes and expectations. There is a responsibility that comes with that. 
  
  
• Ally-ship means that it is important that you speak up if you hear homophobic language or see a queer or trans person being targeted for bullying or harassment. 
  
  
• Ally-ship means you honor a person’s pronouns and the name they ask you to call them. 
  
  
• Ally-ship means understanding there is nothing wrong with being queer or trans and anyone who suggests changing who you are is not to be trusted. 
  
  
• Ally-ship means that if you know someone is harmful to the LGBTQIA+ community, then you name that so others know as well. 
  
  
• Ally-ship means that you don’t align yourself with people who cause harm to LGBTQIA+ people.
  
  
• Ally-ship is making it ok for people to tell you about their life and the people they love without fear of judgement. 
  
  
• Ally-ship means that you include LGBTQIA+ perspectives in your planning, writing, teaching and thinking, and that you listen when people in the LGBTQIA+ community talk about their own lived experiences.
  
  
• Ally-ship is understanding that when someone comes out to you, they are showing you great trust. Allies maintain confidentiality and do not ‘out’ someone to others. 

Please be intentional about how you show up for the LGBTQIA+ community, because Pride symbols and language in places they do not belong cause a false sense of safety and can do more harm than good. Pride symbols on your clothing, car, house, business, classroom or doorway will mean the world to the queer and trans people in your life, if they know they come with meaningful action. The LGBTQIA+ Caucus of Amherst appreciates your responsible, accountable ally-ship and wishes you a fabulous Pride season!

Ali Wicks-Lim is a spokesperson for the LGBTQIA+ Caucus of Amherst.

The LGBTQIA+ Caucus of Amherst is a grassroots advocacy group formed in fall 2023. It mobilizes residents to defend and support queer and trans students—particularly at the Amherst Regional Middle and High Schools—and pushes the local administration for greater transparency, accountability, and equity.  To protect its members from systemic retaliation and intimidation within the community, the caucus operates with an anonymous membership structure, relying on designated spokespersons for public communication. The caucus can be contacted c/o the Amherst Indy at amherstindy@gmail.com.